Hungarian Spice
The Age
Tuesday May 27, 2003
Restaurant Review: NEWMARKET HOTEL, ST KILDA
WHERE: Newmarket Hotel, 34 Inkerman Street, St Kilda. 9534 2385
PRICES: soups $4.50-$5.50, mains $11.50-$16.50, dessert $2-$4.50
No cards
OPEN: Tues-Satmidday-3pm, 6-9pm.
Fully licensed
THE cook-cum-waitress at St Kilda's Newmarket Hotel leans so close that I can smell her perfume. ``You want for me to give you the recipe for the sledge driver's goulash then you must marry me," she whispers huskily.
Actually, it sounds like a pretty fair deal. This slow braise of pork, none-too-salty sauerkraut and paprika is the sort of hearty flavour punch that I could happily move in with. I can see us curled up on the sofa together in front of Big Brother, man and bowl locked in a sensual embrace. The danger is that, come summer, I'd probably want to leave for a perky little green salad.
Another problem is that I've already married one woman for her gnocchi and the courts frown on bigamy, even for the most sound culinary reasons.
The Newmarket is a little slice of old St Kilda. Rough, ready and with a frayed interior that's a world away from the slick, architecturally designed ``living pods" that increasingly infest this part of Melbourne. Here there are pool tables, the occasional disreputable character and Elizabeth cooking up a sexy selection of Hungarian rib-stickers perfect for love in a cold climate.
There's a limpid and clean-tasting chicken broth, little ``eyes" of fat dotting the soup's surface. Buoyant matzo balls bob in it. Good, but I'd rather have her thick pea soup - a sort of supercharged vegetable swamp with an alluring hint of the mushy pea about it. It's a pattern scraper.
Besides the sledge driver's goulash, paprika also rules the more familiar Hungarian goulash and the light gravy of the chicken ``paprikas". Here the chook on the bone pulls apart easily and steamily. Beg for it with lots of those little knobbly squiggles of dumplings the Hungarians call nokedli.
The Newmarket is best known for its ``Tits and Schnitz" night every Thursday. Topless barmaids share the billing with huge schnitzels - pork, veal and chicken. These are such a size that at lunch - when there's not a nipple in sight - it's not uncommon to see elderly Hungarian ladies sharing one.
Contemplating dessert crepes or dumplings after these quantities is almost obscene but the cricket ball-sized and breadcrumb-rolled dumplings stuffed with apricot or plums are good and generous. It's just debateable whether they're worth the extra stretch marks.
Anyone who fondly remembers the Danube and the Transylvanian should get down here quick before some bloke with a mobile, shiny suit and dollar signs for eyes trendifies the Newmarket.
Likewise, anyone who knows whether Mormons are allowed to eat both pork goulash and gnocchi should email me straight away. Also please confirm that the Mormon faith still smiles on polygamy.
Found a great place you'd like to share? Tell Matt Preston at mpreston@bigpond.net.au
© 2003 The Age